As a result of an overwhelming scientific empirical data.  I am pleased
to present purely scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.

1. No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species
of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are
insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer
which only Santa has ever seen.

2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT
since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and
Buddhist children, that  the workload to to 15% of the total - 378
million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census)
rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One
presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to
west (which seemes logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second.
This is to say that for each Christian household with good children,
Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down
the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under
the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney,
get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that
each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth
(which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our
calculations we will accept),  we are now talking about .78 miles per
household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles,  not counting stops to
do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding
and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per
second,  3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the
fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a
poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15
miles per hour.

4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming
that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2
pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is
invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can
pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see
point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal anount, we cannot do the job
with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer.  This increases the
payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons.
Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen
Elizabeth.

5. 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enourmous air
resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
spacecrafts re-entering the  atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will
absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short,
they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer
behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire
reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.
Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06
times greater than gravity. A 250- pound Santa (which seems ludicrously
slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of
force. In conclusion -
If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas !?!


And Happy New Year!!!!!!!