| I sit there and stare. Bored out of my mind in a boring science class. Listening to parties that don't include me, and conversations between my classmates. I sit there, feeling a tightening feeling in my stomach and resisting the erge to scream out and ask why I wasn't included. Why they don't like me. Why I can't be more talkative in school. Why everyone is so very mean to me, even if I'm not mean to them. It's the story of my life though. It happens everyday. This common rejection of mine feels like a curse. An evil curse someone cast upon me. You see, most of the time I dont' feel this way. I let it all pass. On most days I don't care what they think. I don't care if they dont' include me. If their mean to me and treat me like dirt. I just wish they could feel how its like to be in my shoes. Wish they could sit in class and listen to parties that don't include them, and conversations that they shouldn't get involved in or only face rejection even more. On most days, as I stated upove, I never notice it as much. Its just on bad days that I do. I have friends and they help me get through. Most of this rejection is only in my mind. It feels like it isn't though. Like in a club I'm in, where we could pick groups. I suggested we should all be together, my friends of mine and some boys. I was completely left out in that idea and they all joined together. Leaving me and my other friend out. I think to myself; it doesn't matter. We'll do better with out them. Better than if they were with us. Its true, I know it. I just wish I wasn't left out again. Left out by my very own friends. Like with the party. It makes me feel better to think though, that I'm not the only one out there who feels the same way I do. There are others and my other friend is direct proof. I can't help it if I'm not good enough, or smart enough, or talkative enough. I'm me and thats all that counts. Besides it makes me feel better also to think, there is one who will never leave me out. Who loves me for who I am. Despite what others may think, He exists, and someday I will join Him, in the kingdom of heaven. |